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So I guess I'm going to write an "essay" of sorts on my Naruto OTP.
Damn, I think it's time for some serious business...
Format taken from "ship_manifesto"...

Gaara/Lee Collapse )

Tags:

Breaking Down Barriers, Chapter Six

Be prepared for a shift in... mood.

They weren't dogs for Goddess' sake!Collapse )

Breaking Down Barriers, Chapter Five

Breaking Down Barriers, Chapter Four

Man, I sure do love to twist characters. At least HM characters aren't that deep, anyway.

He threw it softly at Chase, a smirk lighting up his face when the blond fell back in surprise.Collapse )

Breaking Down Barriers, Chapter Three

Breaking Down Barriers, Chapter Two

Uhh, I uploaded chapter one here, right?
Putting two so that I can link it to the HMFic comm later. ...In the near future. Yeah.

The image of Elli with a plate of cookies appeared in his mind then.Collapse )

Art Dump

Because I feel that this journal deserves some more art. Multi-fandom dump for y'all.

Pretty big pics. Thank god I got a new scanner.Collapse )

It's Been a While

*insert that song... staind, I think*

It has been a while since I last posted.
Just thought that I should talk about my current obsession with Moral Orel, a claymation cartoon about a young boy. Christian or Protestant or whatever, it's based mostly on their religion, or the fact that the town revolves mostly around it. It's hilarious and points out the hyposcrisy in religion and stuff like that.

I would go on, but dinner is calling me. I'll continue some other time.

And also, Danielle Stopframe's obsession with Clay is <3333

EDIT: Lol, I just checked and this is my 69th entry.
Mature? Me? I think you've got me confused with someone else.
Also: I will edit this for more important things... one day.

Rabble, Rabble!

He had not expected it to be so... flowery. A grimace crossed his lips as he stepped carefully over the blooms that littered the floor below his feet, hoping that he wouldn't kill too many with his large boots. Taking another step forward, he looked back and felt somewhat foolish. Of course the flowers wouldn't die, everything here was dead already. He began to wonder why he was even concerned about the plantlife as he began to wander aimlessly in the seemingly empty meadow, his mind uncharacteristically absent and unruly.

His stroll took him to the west and with it another fleeting thought was caught in his mind, weighed down with importance. He was dead, and this was the farplane. Irritated, he tried to clear his mind, tried to focus, but a gentle breeze rolled by and he was distracted.

Since when did "legendary guardian"s become distracted by wind? he was starting to become aggravated. Stupid pretty surroundings. The swaying flowers and the bright, blue sky caught his attention much more easily than the rolling thoughts in his mind.

Blue skies... He was starting to remember what he was looking for. Was he searching for something? He couldn't remember. It was starting to float away from him, but the brilliant shades of blue lighting the sky above him reminded him of something. Something else similarly beautiful, yet painfully so. A heaviness descended on his chest and it also seemed familiar, as if it belonged there. He hummed to himself, picking up his pace again.

What was he doing again? Something to do with beautiful, deep blue orbs.

Wait, orbs? His mind was wandering again, and something deep inside of him wanted everything to slow down, to stop moving. So he closed his eyes. It was dark now, and it was an eerie calm that soothed his mind.

Finally. Peace. He tried to remember why he was here. Right, death. Sent by Braska's daughter... Yuna. Yes. He fulfilled his duties to the summoner and now he was here.

Braska. Now he remembered the blue gems that were the summoner's eyes. Along with being having filled his promises, he hoped to see the summoner again. Maybe he would. He didn't know, but he supposed that he would find out. Nothing else to do anyway.

He opened his eyes again and there he was. High Summoner Braska, the underdog that had brought the calm despite the harsh judgements and the angry prejudices. No priest should marry a heathen, they said. They must have been satisfied when she was killed by Sin. Some holy men they were.

"Auron." His voice echoed in his ears, the soft, undemanding call that was Braska's voice. It brought a smile to his lips, which in turn elicited one in Braska.

"I'm glad to see you so happy," the summoner stated, stepping forward. His robes were gone, replaced by something lighter. He was glad that he finally ditched the heavy burden. Maybe being dead gave you more freedom as to what you did.

The blue eyes in front of him brought focus, and it made him comfortable. Something familiar, both in the man in front of him and in himself.

"I'm glad to see you, my--" He paused, the old habit taking hold of his tongue. A frown pulled his lips downwards and Braska's eyes lit up with mirth. "I'm just happy to see you again, Braska."

The summoner turned around and he was surprised that his mind didn't wander to the clouds that had rolled into his peripheral vision. Maybe the man himself brought focus into his mind.

"I see that the farplane has meddled with your mind, Auron," he said, his voice sounding faraway with his back turned to him. "You would never say such things aloud."

So that was why he wasn't feeling himself. His thoughts were bubbling again and he changed the topic. "The farplane has done this?"

Braska turned around again and gave him a sympathetic look. It registered in his mind as something else that was normal and he felt more at ease. "Yes. It takes a while for your soul to get used to being dead, despite having been sent. Which I'm glad for. You shouldn't have stayed in Spira as long as you have."

Emotion rose to his throat, the urge to shout immense. What was this again? He wanted to throw something; maybe the bottle slung close to his hip, but then he thought that it might have no use. Why not...?

He found the power to speak again and he just wasn't thinking as the words spilled out of his mouth. "But I had to! I had to fulfill my promises to you and Jecht. It was the least I could do for letting you..."

Braska sighed deeply and a sharp feeling pierced through his body. It was uncomfortable and he thought that maybe it was pain. He knew that sigh, knew that it meant that Braska wasn't pleased, which wouldn't do--

"Have you not changed in the past ten years, Auron?" The softness that the summoner's voice retained made him feel small, subdued. Why was he not shouting? He could tell that he was angry, or at least something akin to anger. "I have told you time and time again that what I did I did for the good of Spira and that there was no use to try to repay me. I wanted to do it, and that in itself is my reward."

Words escaped him again and he was irritated. Why didn't he know what to say? Some part of him told him to be quiet and let things happen on their own. That part of him was silenced when a quiet sob broke the air.

"Oh, Auron." Braska's voice was hoarse now and that sharp feeling returned; it was definitely pain. "It's the first time I see you in ten years and all I can do is argue with you. I must thank you for taking care of Yuna. And for guarding her as you did me. And for finally defeating Sin." A small smile graced his lips, betraying the stray tears that streaked down his face. "Though I suppose that was a gift to yourself, hmm?"

Again, he didn't know what to say. Anything to stop those tears coming down his face, the tangible sign of sadness. A proper reply would do for now. "It was my pleasure."

Another tear slipped down his cheek, sliding close to the up turned corner of Braska's mouth. "I could never find a more reliable man, Auron. As a guardian and a friend."

If he could not say the words to appease the summoner, he decided that he would have to do something about it physically. He reached out to wipe away the wetness staining his sharp, handsome face and was satisfied that none had followed.

Braska continued to smile, continued to look sad. "If only you would do this when you were clear of mind, Auron. That would please me."

He frowned. Clear of mind? Of course his mind was clear! He knew what he was doing, what he was feeling. He knew that he wanted him to stop looking at him wiht those sorrow filled eyes and smile genuinely.

"I am clear of mind," he murmured, irritated that he could not please the summoner. He didn't know what to do, so he figured that he may as well ask. "What do you want me to do, Braska?"

Braska's eyebrows knit together, as if he were confused. Did he say something unusual? Then again, he figured he was being fairly unusual. His memories, now becoming clearer, told him that he normally wasn't so... open. But the way that the summoner was looking at him was almost too much to bear.

"I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that your concern for me was something more than admiration for my "noble deeds"."

When Braska said these words, he was comforted by the fact that he knew exactly what he was talking about. He didn't know how he did; he figured it must be so significant that it struck out to him in the midst of the farplane's mist cloggin his mind. Inhaling slowly, and wondering how he did it, for he was sure he was dead, he lifted his eyes to look at Braska's blue ones, feeling a surge of confidence amongst his clouded feelings of confusion and emptiness.

"Braska, you know fully well that I cared for you more than for that fact that you would bring peace to Spira," he said, a sure smile playing across his lips. "It was clear that you were more than a man hoping to prove his worth to a group of corrupted priests with every road we travelled and with every step we took. Especially when you took in that drunkard and made him an honest man."

Braska's smile widened, but he was still searching for something. He felt inadequate when he realized that he hadn't said what Braska wanted to hear.

"Braska...?" Confusion mixed with defeat and annoyance. What did he need to say to remove that look of melancholy from the summoner's eyes? "I don't know what else to say, Braska."

The man in front of him sighed, a bittersweet sound that slashed at his chest. "You never did get the picture, Auron. I don't understand why you're still acting like you did ten years ago." He looked away and as soon as he did, the absence of his definite eyes made him feel empty. "I suppose that your mind still hasn't caught up with your body."

He was throroughly frustrated now. What did he need to do? Obviously Braska wanted more than what he was offering. He said what he honestly felt, wasn't that enough? Maybe the summoner knew that there was more to this. He was out of options and he needed to do something fast, or he knew he wouldn't last long with the way that the sadness lingered in those sapphire eyes.

A thought flittered through his mind, vague and unclear. Maybe his mind was what was betraying him. Braska said so himself. So maybe he should let his body do the work for him. Focusing with all his might, he delved into his senses. He wanted Braska to look at him again, so he reached out and jerked his chin towards him. The summoner looked surprised, almost pleasantly so. He had been rewarded for his efforts, so he allowed another thoughtless action. Desire would drive his body now.

Holding Braska's chin in his hand, he did was he thought would naturally come to him after doing such a thing: he leaned forward and kissed him.

To his surprise, Braska smiled against his lips and kissed him back. Giddiness rushed through his system when he realized that he had won and he allowed himself to lose himself to the mouth pressed ever so gently to his.

When the summoner pulled back, he was glad to see that the blue eyes were lit up with pure happiness.

"Finally," Braska said breathlessly. "Ive been waiting ten years, no, more than that, for you to finally come to grips with your feelings. Now you may have your mind back."

Wait, his mind? What was Braska talking about? He opened his mouth to voice his question, but a bright flash of light cut him off. It filled his vision completely, the image of Braska amongst flowery fields fading into a colorless blindness.

-----

Where in the world was he? Auron was irritated with the fact that he couldn't recall his surroundings. A soft wind pressed by, playing with the long strands of his dark hair. The space around him was mostly green, speckled here and there by numerous, nameless flowers, though he didn't care much for them. He glanced down at himself and saw a pyrefly float around his waist.

Right. He was dead and in the Farplane.

Now what?

The warrior sat down in the grass, his jacket fanning out behind him. It pooled around his body in a mess of ripped, red fabric.

Well. Now that he was dead, he supposed that he could visit his old friends. He had longed to do so ever since Yunalesca had struck him down, but his promises held him back to earth. Finally he was here, with a better grip of his surroundings than he had thought.

Auron blinked as a memory rushed through his mind, surprise flashing through his system. Braska, he had seen Braska. Where was he now? All he knew was that he kissed him and he was gone.

Oh, right. That. From what he remembered, he didn't know that he wanted to kiss him when the summoner had prompted him to. Ugh, what had he been thinking? Of course that was what Braska wanted. They had both wanted it, but had refrained from doing so to prevent increasing the pain that was already promised by the journey they were taking.

He cared deeply for Braska. Through every step they took, he tried his hardest to protect him so that he wouldn't have to suffer any more than he would. This man was to bring peace to Spira, and the least he could do was give peace back to him, if only for a moment. Everything was only for a moment, he realized. He regretted not doing any more with Braska while he had the chance.

Now that he was here, in the Farplane, what was left to do? His earthly motivations had abandoned him and now he was left alone. He willed his legs to stand up. Here he could try to look for his friends and fill this eternal silence that plagued his being.

Auron took in a soothing breath, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, Jecht was in front of him, his profile a faint outline against the blue stmosphere that was the sky.

"Auron," the blitz player grinned, putting a hand on his hip. It ocurred to Auron that he had no pyreflies surrounding his body and he thought it odd. "I gotta thank you for helping my kid."

"It was no problem," Auron said automatically. He smiled ruefully. "He's a lot like you, Jecht, though he seemed to think quite poorly of you at first."

Jecht snorted, turning his head away for a moment. "He just... He just missed me."

Auron nodded, knowing better than to comment on the situation. He wondered where the young guardian was and why he did not accompany Jecht.

"You're wondering why he's not here?" The man across from him looked surprised. "You haven't willed him here yet. Lucky you, being new, you can control who you want to be here. For now."

What? He was willing Jecht here? Frustration was starting to build in his chest. Damn it all, he still didn't understand the mechanics of the Farplane.

Jecht snorted, grabbing his attention once again.  "You'll get it soon enough, Auron." He still wasn't looking at him, his gaze raking over the hills of the meadow around them. "Though I wonder where Braska is. I'd assume that at least Braska'd be here."

The frustration was starting to mix with confusion, creating a fine blend of irritation. Auron managed to keep it hidden like he always did and asked with an aloof voice, "What do you mean by that?"

Jecht's eyes were hard again. "You know, you're lucky to have the freebies I'm giving you. In the farplane, most of us are connected somehow, right? It creates some kind of imaginary world. A lot like Zanarkand. Magical and pleasant. We're able to make a universe with the people we loved that we've joined in this place. Braska keeps me company mostly, and we're still waiting for the kid to swing by."

Auron was glad to be enlightened in a situation where he didn't know much. He nodded at Jecht gratefully.

Braska... The man had haunted his lifeless existence in his mind down in Spira, now he could finally reunite with him here...

But wait. Wouldn't that mean that Braska's wife would be here, too?

"Oh right, I forgot that you were in love with that sap," Jecht said absently. He glanced back toward his friend. "Yeah, he's been with Aleksessa here. Man, I wonder what'll happen when... Oh, you know." He let out a bark of humorless laughter. "And they say that death is the ultimate freedom."

A sinking feeling made itself known in the pits of Auron's stomach. Now he was regretting wanting Jecht's presence. If only he could have that moment from before back...

He closed dark eyes to calm himself down. No use to be so angry. Things would work themselves out in time, especially when he had all the time in the world.

Jecht laughed again, small and wistful. "Yeah, lots of time. As long as someone's there to remember us." He walked forward and placed his hands behind his head, reminding Auron of his son. "But the spheres're there for us. We're good. But I wonder how that'll do for us in the long run."

"I never figured you to think so much about it," Auron said, smiling teasingly. Jecht reached out to punch him playfully, but the ex-monk dodged it with ease.

"Auron, we both know that Jecht secretly plans evil schemes and puts on a simple front to trick others."

Auron whipped his head around to see the source of the new voice, hoping to confirm his guess of who the familiar voice belonged to. He was confronted by smiling blue eyes, the sapphire gems gleaming in the surreal sunlight of the farplane. The presence of his two best friends made his chest tighten with a feeling he couldn't identify. Could it be happiness? Or perhaps it was the weight of reality slamming into his being.
Now that he was here, every person that he'd known in his life could interact with him freely. His stomach sunk a little deeper and he felt his eyebrows draw together. Braska tilted his head at him, concerned about the sudden change in attitude.

"Auron? Are you alright?" the summoner asked, worry evident in his tone. He stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. Auron managed to ease out from under his hold quickly.

"I'm fine, Braska," he said gruffly, refusing to look him in the eye. There was no way he could mention Braska's wife, else he knew that it would ruin the moment much too soon. It was selfish and he knew that, as well, but damn it all if he couldn't be happy.

Over the top of his sunglasses, Auron could see Jecht and Braska exchange looks. Jecht shrugged, pretending to play dumb and Braska's lips pulled into a frown of displeasure.

"Auron..." The summoner's tone told him that it wasn't time to play games. Even with all the time in the world as a wandering soul, Auron knew that he couldn't beat around the bush about this matter.

He wanted to, but it didn't mean that he should.